Wednesday, November 19, 2008  

Looking back...

There it was again. That tinge of angst that I couldn't shake. Dismissing it as the caffeine-on-an-empty-stomach shakes, I press my badge up to the card reader, listen for the click that signals it is OK to enter, walk through the glass door, down the corridor and straight to the cubicle where I now spend the majority of my day staring at a computer screen and laughing with coworkers that I am finally starting to feel comfortable with. I boot up the computer, log into the phone and wait. Wait for the system to kick in, wait for the first customer call, wait for the boss to ask me what I've got in the pipeline today. And then I sigh - deeply - and look at the calendar.

I know what today is. I knew it was coming up. I had been talking about it like it was nothing, but in reality, it was/is something. It is the one year anniversary of that "call" - the one that left me feeling as if the rug had just been pulled out from underneath me. The one with the cold, callous, strange voice on the other end telling me that I needed to visit HR the next day for my "exit" interview. The one that said I had been "chosen." The one that changed me in ways I never thought it would. Could this be why I'm feeling out of sorts today? Possibly. Probably. Definitely.

It's hard to believe that a year has already passed. It's also hard to believe that it's only been a year, as it feels like a lifetime ago. I try to imagine my old self - the routine of walking through the glass doors, through the lobby to the card reader where I place my badge for entry, down the corridor to the desk that I called home for many, many years. Familiar faces, familiar spaces, familiar everything. A place that, despite its obvious downward spiral, I was still happy to report to - five days a week, five hours a day.

A lot of my friends have moved on, some by choice, some by force. I know I've fared a lot better than most, many of whom are still looking for work. Yeah, I've found a job. Yes, I've made some new friends. Sure, it's a paycheck. Definitely, it's a blessing in its own, unique way. Despite all of that, I still grieve, even after one year. Not so much for the forced, life changing event, but for what used to be. More accurately, for what had ceased to be long before I was let go. The newspaper was my family, beginning with my immediate coworkers to the cafeteria staff, all the way up to the big wigs in HR. How can that ever be recaptured?

The answer - it can't. But it can be fondly remembered. And it is, daily. It's just a little more difficult today.

Chronicled @ 10:00 PM

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008  

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

November - the month of change. It marks the end of daylight savings time. Thank goodness for that extra hour of much needed sleep. Whoever invented this ridiculous moving of the clock back and forth should be shot. November brings fireplace weather, cold breezes and rainy skies. It goes hand-in-hand with the extra snooze time. November marks the beginning of the holiday season, though the argument could be made that Halloween starts the celebrating. But more notable this year than anything else is this very emotional, very heated presidential election. November brings a new president to the United States.

Whether you bleed blue or red, there's no arguing that we are witness to one of the most historical events of our lifetimes. After 8 years under the Bush regime, we need someone fresh, someone who will make the general population feel good about being citizens of these United States of America. Is it gonna be the man who survived torture in the jungles of Vietnam? Will we elect the young, charismatic African American lawyer? Whoever takes the helm will inherit a boat load of troubles. Whoever wins will have all eyes on them to solve the ills of this country. Whoever we choose to be the next leader is definitely in the hot seat.

The truth of the matter is, though, regardless of the campaign promises either candidate has made, one can almost guarantee that most of them will not come to fruition. (I'd say never, but that's so pessimistic.) There is hope, though, and that is the dream that Obama has sold to us. Hope. If you have nothing but that, you've got everything. Now it's time to move that hope into action.

How? Let's hold our leaders accountable for what they promise us. Let's make sure that our constitutional rights are protected and kept intact. Let's demand honesty in the way our government deals with this so called "war on terror" and financial crisis. Let's watch carefully how our new president and his cabinet shape the policies of this nation. Let's expect CHANGE.

Chronicled @ 7:53 PM

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008  

Rules - so many rules!

Mulitiple choice question - fill in the blanks as they pertain to elementary school.

Rules are _____.
1) necessary to promote safety and order.
2) meant to be broken.
3) written to give the people at the top reason to control everyone beneath his/her level.

Kids _____.
1) need rules to protect themselves and others from harm, physically and socially.
2) need to learn from their own experiences and grow from them.
3) are harmed when there are too many rules.

As a parent, it's apparent that rules are a necessary element of elementary school culture. When there are hundreds of kids on one single campus under the care of, at the most, 50 overworked adults, rules must exist to keep some sense of order. Recently, though, our principal has put demands on the elementary school kids (that's ages 6 - 11) that border stupidity and take away from their most basic need - socialization and playtime. Thankfully she hasn't taken these rights of childhood away, but she's given "guidelines" on how the kids can spend their out-of-classroom time.

At lunchtime, students must sit at tables assigned to their classroom. They cannot sit with friends if they are in a different room. The reason for this? She says that in case a parent is trying to locate their child at lunchtime (which happens at least 3 to 4 times a day - NOT) prearranged seating makes it easier for the adults in charge to locate him or her. Additionally, it is easier for the adults to account for all of the children if they are in a predesignated area, making for a safer lunch time experience.

Secondly, use of the playground will be rotated on a daily basis for the primary grades, 1 through 3. A morning announcement is made, detailing which students are allowed use of the play structures for that particular day. In all fairness, this was started because of on-site construction for safety reasons. However, the construction has been completed and she refuses to do away with this policy. How this is enforced I cannot imagine. I envision a row of police-teachers lined up around the tanbark box, kinda like security at the World Series. "Sorry kid - this area is designated for 2nd graders only."

Now that I'm not on the school campus that often, and especially since I now have kids at three different schools, it's difficult to keep up to date on what is going on. I caught wind of this because a friend decided to include me on an email chain that started with, of all people, a PTA volunteer (gosh I miss that motley group!) Does anyone recognize this as the legalization of taking away basic rights? Come on - any school administrator who feels that controlling kids' free time is the best way to keep children safe should not be in that position. Kids need to be kids during their free time so that they can expend their boundless amounts of energy outside of the classroom. Without this free time, this freedom, chaos in the classroom is bound to ensue.

So the true reason for my ranting is this. Move this thought into the bigger world - our adult world. A world that is wrought with endless rules and regulations. Wear your seatbelt - it's for your own safety. Don't forget to wear a helmet when you ride your bike - it's for your own safety. I do those things anyway, but do we really need a law to tell us what is good for our own safety?!

With election day being a week away, think about what liberties we are losing and at what cost when you mark your ballot. Don't legalize the taking away of our rights as humans. Keep the government out of our bedrooms and our private lives. No on 8 - let people love who they want, how they want. No on 4 - instead put into place programs that help teens deal with this extremely difficult decision. Enforcing a law that makes medical professionals act as narcs will bring more harm than good.

Vote with your conscience. I'll quote something my sister said. The Constitution was written to give us liberties, not to take them away.

Chronicled @ 8:30 PM

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008  

Let the craziness begin

Here's an interesting link to a story that could, if true, throw a wrench into the Obama campaign and forever scar the Democratic party and the faith of the American voters. As the election nears, expect more "stuff" like this to surface. I haven't done my due diligence to figure out if this is authentic, but here you go.

http://www.rense.com/general83/berg.htm

Chronicled @ 9:22 AM

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Friday, October 17, 2008  

So much for kicking the habit

The intent is there. The desire is there. What's lacking is the will power. And a bit of advanced planning & organization. I must confess that since putting in writing my commitment to tighten up my finances by cutting back on unnecessary expenses, such as coffee and eating out, I've - what can I say - fallen a little short of my goal.

Two days into it I found myself in Starbucks because I ran out of coffee creamer. A few days after that, I was in the Starbucks drive-through. And three days in a row I succumbed to having someone else prepare dinner (like Subway & Pizza Hut) because I didn't want to have to clean up the kitchen. Who wants to do that after working all day?

Ever the bargain hunter, though, I've found the best places to grab some grub for a decent price.

Subway - $5 footlong sandwiches. Eat half, bring the rest for lunch the next day. OR, buy one and split it, and the cost, with someone else.

Tuesday night pizza - Both Straw Hat and Stuft Pizza have 1/2 price pizza on Tuesday nights. I can get 2 large pizzas for less than $25!

Costco roasted chicken - I think the prices have gone up, but one chicken goes a long way.

Taco Bell - 99 cent burritos - 79 cent tacos. Not the healthiest of choices, but given the price, need I say more?

So that is my one week update. Week two will be better.

Here's a sign of the economic times. Today we (meaning me and all of my coworkers) received an email sent on behalf of our CEO. Due to the economy, our company will not be holding its holiday party. Instead, each employee will receive $10 so that each department can throw their own party. Anything above the $10, of course, will be out of our own pockets. What a nice gesture! I think it would have been less insulting to the tenured employees if he just announced the cancellation without a consolation prize. I haven't seen a company holiday party in years, but I liken it to when the Mercury News stopped giving their employees turkeys at Thanksgiving. Not a lot of happy campers when that announcement was made.

But you know what? At least I had a job back then, even if I didn't have a free 13 lb. turkey. And I least I have a job now, so that I can feed my caffeine habit and feed my family. And as the latest round of layoffs in the Valley illustrates, there is no such thing as a stable job. If the holiday party needs to be canceled to keep some folks (such as myself) employed, I'll gladly forgo the festivities. And hopefully after a weekend of contemplation, my coworkers will feel the same.

Chronicled @ 10:52 PM

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Monday, October 13, 2008  

Kicking my Starbucks addiction and other behavioral changes I must make to survive this crazy economy

Behavioral change number one:
Cutting back on Starbucks (and other over priced coffee houses)

I never thought I'd see the day when I would have to - be financially forced to - cut back on my daily soy latte habit. Grande soy latte that is. A $3.60 per day habit. Sometimes more because I'd enjoy a pumpkin muffin or lowfat turkey bacon breakfast sandwich with my morning java. When I do the calculations the dollars are staggering. If I averaged a $5 per day purchase (which is totally low-balling it because sometimes I'd feel generous and buy drinks for the family, hot cocoa for the kids or visit Starbucks multiple times in one day), that totals to over $1800 per year. That's three car payments. That's enough to pay my water, electricity, telephone, cable, insurance, internet, grocery, cell phone and eating bills for a month.

New habit: Buying ground coffee and brewing it at home. No, it's not the same as a soy latte but I really enjoy the extra dollars in my wallet much more than visiting my favorite barista. Instead of making this a daily treat, I've cut back to once or twice a week. Now I can afford to actually leave a tip!

Behavioral change number two:
Less McDonald's, more home cooking

I don't even want to put a dollar amount on this, 'cuz it'll make the financial analyst in me cringe. This was not only an economic change but one that I felt was necessary for the health of the family. Since starting this full-time job it's been extremely tempting to go to the drive-thru for a quick meal, especially because of time constraints. Ending my work day at 5:30 isn't exactly conducive to cooking the same kinds of meals I was accustomed to. No multi-course dinners, nothing that required a lot of slicing and dicing and definitely nothing that called for more than 5 ingredients. Here's the struggle. How many times a week can a kid eat spaghetti before engaging in his or her own hunger strike? And how can I, someone who reads in detail the labels of every box/can/package/jar in the grocery store, feed my family healthy pre-packaged or frozen meals without feeling guilt?

New habit: Menu planning. So far this works about 70% of the time. But at least it's better than the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants dinner planning that I used to practice. Added bonus - it forces me to be more efficient with my time at the grocery store because I don't have to sit in the produce section spinning my wheels trying to figure out whether I should buy zucchini or mushrooms and what I would use them for. I simply refer to my grocery list, an itemized breakdown of the weekly menu, and buy only what I've listed. And since I know what I'll be cooking, prep the night before saves on time. Yeah, I still stray and splurge on a bag of cookies, but at least I'm not carting a bag of cookies, two boxes of cereal and other end-cap impulse buys to the check-out. And I think the kids actually appreciate mom's home cooking!

Behavioral change number three:
Cut back on visits to Target

I love Target. Who doesn't? It's got everything anyone could ever need. And since they've expanded the frozen food section, there's more reason than ever to shop there. You just can't beat Target prices. But wait! If you're visiting Target two, even three times a week like I did, the savings go out the door. It's like this - you go to buy cat litter or cat food and end up coming home with cat litter, cat food, a CD, a new t-shirt or two, and something totally unnecessary from the many clearance shelves that line the aisles. Add in the gas used to get there and, well, need I say more?

New habit: Make a list and stick to it, cut back shopping trip to once a week. Same concept as menu planning. I suppose it's all about the planning. And asking the question - do I really need that? If the answer is not a resounding YES but a half-hearted maybe, then it goes back on the shelf. Until I win the lotto, that's how I roll.

There's a lot more that I can do, but I'm not going to overwhelm myself with multiple behavioral changes, because then none of them would stick. What I can't figure out is that I didn't feel an urgency to cut back when I was unemployed. Nor was the feeling as strong when I was working for Bella, earning less than what I did on unemployment. Somehow, I still managed to make ends meet. Perhaps it was the faith that the economy would get better and that my earning opportunities would only grow. Perhaps it is the outrageous actions of our government that have doused me with a bucket of ice-cold financial reality that sparked my new-found frugality. Whatever. It feels good to have some money in my wallet for a change.

Chronicled @ 10:19 PM

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008  

Another short note on the Federal bailout

I'm watching the news and I just heard that there is possible fraud in the Freddie Mac & Fannie May debacle and maybe with AIG. You think? Wow, how much time did it take for that news to "leak" out? Kiss universal healthcare, a better education system, job creation and economic stimulation goodbye. We've just handed over the hugest paycheck ever to a bunch of money-grubbing, bottom-line feeding corporations. That's one big monkey the next president will be carrying around on his back.

Sorry - I can't help feeling cynical about the whole situation as I helplessly watch my 401K funds slip away. Really, it's time to put my money under my mattress - probably smarter than keeping it in the bank. At least it will be readily available as fuel to burn in case we have an exceptionally cold winter - lol.

Chronicled @ 11:02 PM

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