Wednesday, November 19, 2008  

Looking back...

There it was again. That tinge of angst that I couldn't shake. Dismissing it as the caffeine-on-an-empty-stomach shakes, I press my badge up to the card reader, listen for the click that signals it is OK to enter, walk through the glass door, down the corridor and straight to the cubicle where I now spend the majority of my day staring at a computer screen and laughing with coworkers that I am finally starting to feel comfortable with. I boot up the computer, log into the phone and wait. Wait for the system to kick in, wait for the first customer call, wait for the boss to ask me what I've got in the pipeline today. And then I sigh - deeply - and look at the calendar.

I know what today is. I knew it was coming up. I had been talking about it like it was nothing, but in reality, it was/is something. It is the one year anniversary of that "call" - the one that left me feeling as if the rug had just been pulled out from underneath me. The one with the cold, callous, strange voice on the other end telling me that I needed to visit HR the next day for my "exit" interview. The one that said I had been "chosen." The one that changed me in ways I never thought it would. Could this be why I'm feeling out of sorts today? Possibly. Probably. Definitely.

It's hard to believe that a year has already passed. It's also hard to believe that it's only been a year, as it feels like a lifetime ago. I try to imagine my old self - the routine of walking through the glass doors, through the lobby to the card reader where I place my badge for entry, down the corridor to the desk that I called home for many, many years. Familiar faces, familiar spaces, familiar everything. A place that, despite its obvious downward spiral, I was still happy to report to - five days a week, five hours a day.

A lot of my friends have moved on, some by choice, some by force. I know I've fared a lot better than most, many of whom are still looking for work. Yeah, I've found a job. Yes, I've made some new friends. Sure, it's a paycheck. Definitely, it's a blessing in its own, unique way. Despite all of that, I still grieve, even after one year. Not so much for the forced, life changing event, but for what used to be. More accurately, for what had ceased to be long before I was let go. The newspaper was my family, beginning with my immediate coworkers to the cafeteria staff, all the way up to the big wigs in HR. How can that ever be recaptured?

The answer - it can't. But it can be fondly remembered. And it is, daily. It's just a little more difficult today.

Chronicled @ 10:00 PM

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008  

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

November - the month of change. It marks the end of daylight savings time. Thank goodness for that extra hour of much needed sleep. Whoever invented this ridiculous moving of the clock back and forth should be shot. November brings fireplace weather, cold breezes and rainy skies. It goes hand-in-hand with the extra snooze time. November marks the beginning of the holiday season, though the argument could be made that Halloween starts the celebrating. But more notable this year than anything else is this very emotional, very heated presidential election. November brings a new president to the United States.

Whether you bleed blue or red, there's no arguing that we are witness to one of the most historical events of our lifetimes. After 8 years under the Bush regime, we need someone fresh, someone who will make the general population feel good about being citizens of these United States of America. Is it gonna be the man who survived torture in the jungles of Vietnam? Will we elect the young, charismatic African American lawyer? Whoever takes the helm will inherit a boat load of troubles. Whoever wins will have all eyes on them to solve the ills of this country. Whoever we choose to be the next leader is definitely in the hot seat.

The truth of the matter is, though, regardless of the campaign promises either candidate has made, one can almost guarantee that most of them will not come to fruition. (I'd say never, but that's so pessimistic.) There is hope, though, and that is the dream that Obama has sold to us. Hope. If you have nothing but that, you've got everything. Now it's time to move that hope into action.

How? Let's hold our leaders accountable for what they promise us. Let's make sure that our constitutional rights are protected and kept intact. Let's demand honesty in the way our government deals with this so called "war on terror" and financial crisis. Let's watch carefully how our new president and his cabinet shape the policies of this nation. Let's expect CHANGE.

Chronicled @ 7:53 PM

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