November 16, 2007. 7:15 p.m. That is the day that, aside from the birth of my children, changed my life in a way that I could never imagine. Sure, I always dreamed of the day when I wouldn't have to walk through those imposing glass doors, down the cold, hospital-like hallways to my little (and I emphasize little) cubicle. I even thought of ways to break the news the boss, made up speeches in my head and put them away with the other "to do" lists that I've been storing in my cerebral filing cabinet. Instead, they beat me to the punch.

It's been a few weeks but the sting is still there, as raw and painful as it was that evening. I knew as soon as the phone rang that it wouldn't be good news. Caller ID confirmed my fears. I don't remember much of the conversation, as my head was already spinning from the anxiety I had been feeling all week. All I remember is the shock and coldness of the statement.

THE BOSS: "You've been selected. BLAH BLAH BLAH We need you to come in tomorrow to go over the severance BLAH BLAH BLAH I have a 10 o'clock...."

OMG - did I just hear what I thought I heard? I'm getting laid off? After 21+ f'ing years? You've got to be kidding me. Right?

ME: "Ten o'clock is fine. Can you just tell me one thing. What is the criteria that was used to determine who has been selected?"

THE BOSS: "Well, we have certain areas that we take into consideration. Job knowledge. Productivity. Seniority. BLAH BLAH BLAH And certainly your boss has input in the matter. BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Did he just say job knowledge? Productivity? Seniority? He must have the wrong person, because I KNOW that is not me.

That's about all I want to remember. It was a very painful evening for me. I felt cut off from my life. I mean, geez, I grew up at the frickin' place. Spent more than half my life there. How do I move forward? How do I say bye to my friends? So starts the grieving process...