Monday, February 06, 2006

Fun Superbowl Day
Today was fun.

Nothing more than that. Woke up late for football but I seemed to get there on time. We played for about 3 hours (with some breaks).

Watched the game. Won the 1st quarter pot. Ate bad but it was good. The Steelers won (go Cowher and go Bettis! Actually, go Hines Ward also. Funny, he won the MVP quietly just like he's had a GREAT career so far somewhat quietly.)

Afterwards, we karaoked for 4 hours almost. And, I normally don't do that while sober and in the confines of a home, but it was crazy fun. Thank you Nirvana and Louis Armstrong for rasping my voice.

Ulam cooked @ 12:09 AM

 0 of the headscratch variety

Sunday, February 05, 2006

rummaging
There's a move happening. A change. A transition. Though slightly subdued, it's definitely a big fuckin' deal.

In the common senses of it all, packing shouldn't be too big of a deal. It's sorta like moving to Davis when I went to school. Too homes - apartment vs parent's home (aka HOME home). Basically.. the new place is my place. Still not home.

Yet, I figured I would take the time to go into phase 2 of my overdue cleaning process. (** Phase 1 included tidying and slight organizing.) Phase 2 is rummaging through boxes and all my crap and figuring out what to keep, what to donate, what to pack away for only another reminiscing party in some years ahead. Basically, it was decluttering to move into Phase 3. Phase 3 is rearranging, reorganizing, re-aestheticking, re-uh- doing the room. Basically starting over with the same pieces. It's like take apart the favorite lego sculpture to make it bigger and better. Or at least, MORE efficient.

This process won't be done for a while. In reality, I could move right now, RIGHT THIS DAMN SECOND, if I wanted to. Basically, I pack up the computer, monitor, printer, and other computer stuff. Pack up the stereo system. Pack up the ikea cheapo coffee table and the kmart TV stand. Pack up my PS@ and Xbox. Grab my containers of clothes, my box of books, my box of magazines, my container(s) of DVDs, grab the guitars and basically GO.

I'd leave a bunch of books, other clothes, and other things, but they could easily be picked up later. Writing this tells me I just need to go. I'm paying for the damn rent already anyway.

I have about 2 loads of laundry to do. Some of those clothes will be donated. So far, I've collected 5 kitchen garbage bags worth of clothes to donate. I also have a box of toys that I've bought over the years for entertainment's sake and some that have been given to me.

I also have huge bags of recycleable papers. I have boxes of cd cases that I want to recycle at some point. All the old tapes and the nintendo + games have been packaged better.

There's actually progress.

I am a packrat. Yes. I confess.
Question: What do you do with greeting cards? I've kept them only to eventually recycle them away. At times, it seems weird because they come from friends - when they come from family, they're even harder to get rid of even though they're really just tokens. For the most part, I tore them and stashed them in the recycleables. There's really no need for them right?

I feel, in a sense, the same way regarding some clothes - especially the ones I know were given as gifts by my parents or sister or grandma. The items themselves might be not fitting anymore of my body size or my style - but i feel torn donating them because they were gifts by my family. BUT, some of them are in the bags. In the end, better they are used by people who need them rather than kept for emotional collateral right?

I'm eager to get to the place and put together the crap that I bought at IKEA. I just want to get settled and do that thang.

Oh, the point of this was to confess one more time for something different. While i was rummaging, I found two cards (a birthday and a xmas) from an ex-non-girlfriend. We were dating, but not together together. Anyway, I've always praised her for her kindness and sincerity. But after a while, our situation wasn't comfortable and like in any like situation when there isn't real communication that discomfort and lack of happiness in the situation evolved into resentment towards the original object of affection. Anyway. No excuses. I was an ass to her - at least the way I let things end (without clarity of reasons and without clarity of the situation) - and she really didn't deserve that (nor does anyone really who's of sincere heart and mind but she really didn't deserve it). I was an ass. As I read the cards and looked at some of the pics I had of her, I just shook my head and bit the emotional bullet because I really shot myself bad with that one. No, I probably wouldn't have wanted to continue anything, but I should definitely have handled it better.

Beyond that, I was sifting through my old planners from 1996 and 97. The 1996 one was full of crazy landmarks of my relationship with calpr. And though, none of that really matters anymore, it was funny to feel the immediate nostalgic impact of seeing some of the events I wrote down that I went to during those times and either feeling the real pain or the real happiness that i was feeling exactly back then. Nostalgia's a motherfuck. LOST is a great show.

Tangent.

Ulam cooked @ 11:39 PM

 0 of the headscratch variety